Is Your Relationship Healthy?
Take this quiz and find out!

If you'd like to see how healthy your relationship is, note your answers to the following statements:

IS IT HEALTHY?

(I/we)  have fun together more often than not.

(I/we)  each enjoy spending time separately, with our own friends, and with each other's friends.

(I/we)  always feel safe with each other.

(I/we)  trust each other.

(I/we)  are faithful to one another. (if this is an agreement you have made with one another.)

(I/we)  support each other's individual goals in life, like pursuing a certain career, or hobby.

(I/we)  respect each other's opinions even when they are different.

(I/we)  solve conflicts without putting each other down, cursing at each other, or making threats.

(I/we)  accept responsibility for our actions.

(I/we)  apologize when we are wrong.

(I/we)  have equal decision making power about what we do in our relationship.

(I/we)  each control what we'd like to do with our own money.

(I/we)  are proud to be with each other.

(I/we)  encourage each other's interests, like sports, reading, cooking, etc.

(I/we)  allow one another privacy for things like letters, phone calls, diaries, etc.

(I/we)  have close friends and family who like the other person and are happy about our relationship.

Neither of us ever feel like we're pressured for sex.

(I/we)  communicate about sex. (If your relationship is sexual)

(I/we)  allow each other space when we need it.

(I/we)  always treat each other with respect.


IS IT UNHEALTHY?

(I/we)  get extremely jealous or accuse the other of cheating.

(I/we)  put the other down by calling names, cursing, or making the other feel bad about him/her self.

(I/we)  yell at the other and treat him/her like a child.

(I/we)  don't take the other person, or things that are important to him/her seriously.

(I/we)  don't listen when the other talks.

(I/we)  frequently criticize the other's friends or family.

(I/we)  pressure the other for sex or makes sex hurt or feeling humiliating.

(I/we)  have ever threatened to hurt the other or commit suicide if they leave.

(I/we)  cheat or threaten to cheat.

(I/we)  tells the other how to dress.

(I/we)  has ever grabbed, pushed, hit, or physically hurt the other.

(I/we)  blame the other for our own behavior. ("If you hadn't made me mad, I wouldn't have...")

(I/we)  embarrass or humiliate the other.

(I/we)  smash, throw, or destroy things.

(I/we)  try to keep the other from having a job or furthering his/her education.

(I/we)  make all of the decisions about what the two of us do.

(I/we)  try to make the other feel crazy or play mind games.

(I/we)  go back on promises.

(I/we)  act controlling or possessive, like we own one another.

(I/we)  use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for hurtful behavior.

(I/we)  ignore or withhold affection as a way of punishing the other.

(I/we)  depend completely on the other to meet social or emotional needs.


After taking the quiz, reflect on the answers you've chosen. Note where your answers fall to give you a sense of whether there are issues of concern that may need to be addressed. These are certainly not all the questions that characterize what a healthy or unhealthy relationship is comprised of; and even one single answer may be an indication of a serious problem. If you would like further help or support with your relationship, I invite you to get in touch with me for a free consultation.


2001 Wellness Reproductions and Publishing, Inc.

805-623-4177  |  Santa Barbara, CA    

Jill Rubin, LICSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Relationship Coach

Jill Rubin, LCSW
Relationship Coach
Psychotherapist

Helping you live the life you desire, through relationship coaching and psychotherapy.

Book a free consultation
Events & blog updates via email

Testimonials
"OK, so I'm a self admitted rambler. Jill was able to pull me back and refocus me down a much more productive path. I was surprised how much we accomplished in one 40 minute session." [Issue involving conflict with a divorce]
— M.W.

"My first coaching session with Jill was surprisingly intense and powerful.  I came away from it with a bird's-eye view of my life, and a very clear sense of direction."
— K.M.

"I felt like I've been running in circles until now."
— M.B.

"Honestly, the very first day we met I remember thinking this thought: She is so easy to talk with! And the second thought was: she asks just the right questions!"
— L.B.M.

"I've been stuck on this same issue for longer than I can remember. [Struggle with how to balance work and family life-feeling like there's never enough time] You're the first person who's helped me have any movement on it. I really didn't think I'd learn anything from this. I'm a believer- awesome."
— B.G.

"I came to coaching because I wanted to figure out how to move past the blocks I have toward building a home for myself. What I really like about the coaching is that it opened up my mind to look at things from a totally new perspective. I realized I hadn't moved forward because of the way I've been looking at my situation. I was totally stuck. I can honestly say I feel freed up now. It was so helpful that Jill had a confident energy and was somehow able to pick up on things that were out of my awareness. I found her to be really insightful and her sense of humor really put me at ease.
— S.C.

"I tried coaching because I had tried therapy and didn't feel like I got anywhere. I was depressed. My last child left for college out of the state. I just had this empty pit kind of feeling. I wasn't sure what my life was about anymore. I met with Jill and she had me do some exercises that helped me to take a look at all the different areas of my life. I was surprised at how much of myself I had neglected. I left my first session feeling intrigued and consciously and finally feel like I'm aware that I'm here for a purpose that is bigger than my role of mother."              
—  D.E.