Is Your Relationship Healthy?
Take this quiz and find out!

If you'd like to see how healthy your relationship is, note your answers to the following statements:


(I/we)  have fun together more often than not.

(I/we)  each enjoy spending time separately, with our own friends, and with each other's friends.

(I/we)  always feel safe with each other.

(I/we)  trust each other.

(I/we)  are faithful to one another. (if this is an agreement you have made with one another.)

(I/we)  support each other's individual goals in life, like pursuing a certain career, or hobby.

(I/we)  respect each other's opinions even when they are different.

(I/we)  solve conflicts without putting each other down, cursing at each other, or making threats.

(I/we)  accept responsibility for our actions.

(I/we)  apologize when we are wrong.

(I/we)  have equal decision making power about what we do in our relationship.

(I/we)  each control what we'd like to do with our own money.

(I/we)  are proud to be with each other.

(I/we)  encourage each other's interests, like sports, reading, cooking, etc.

(I/we)  allow one another privacy for things like letters, phone calls, diaries, etc.

(I/we)  have close friends and family who like the other person and are happy about our relationship.

Neither of us ever feel like we're pressured for sex.

(I/we)  communicate about sex. (If your relationship is sexual)

(I/we)  allow each other space when we need it.

(I/we)  always treat each other with respect.


(I/we)  get extremely jealous or accuse the other of cheating.

(I/we)  put the other down by calling names, cursing, or making the other feel bad about him/her self.

(I/we)  yell at the other and treat him/her like a child.

(I/we)  don't take the other person, or things that are important to him/her seriously.

(I/we)  don't listen when the other talks.

(I/we)  frequently criticize the other's friends or family.

(I/we)  pressure the other for sex or makes sex hurt or feeling humiliating.

(I/we)  have ever threatened to hurt the other or commit suicide if they leave.

(I/we)  cheat or threaten to cheat.

(I/we)  tells the other how to dress.

(I/we)  has ever grabbed, pushed, hit, or physically hurt the other.

(I/we)  blame the other for our own behavior. ("If you hadn't made me mad, I wouldn't have...")

(I/we)  embarrass or humiliate the other.

(I/we)  smash, throw, or destroy things.

(I/we)  try to keep the other from having a job or furthering his/her education.

(I/we)  make all of the decisions about what the two of us do.

(I/we)  try to make the other feel crazy or play mind games.

(I/we)  go back on promises.

(I/we)  act controlling or possessive, like we own one another.

(I/we)  use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for hurtful behavior.

(I/we)  ignore or withhold affection as a way of punishing the other.

(I/we)  depend completely on the other to meet social or emotional needs.

After taking the quiz, reflect on the answers you've chosen. Note where your answers fall to give you a sense of whether there are issues of concern that may need to be addressed. These are certainly not all the questions that characterize what a healthy or unhealthy relationship is comprised of; and even one single answer may be an indication of a serious problem. If you would like further help or support with your relationship, I invite you to get in touch with me for a free consultation.

2001 Wellness Reproductions and Publishing, Inc.

805-623-4177  |  Santa Barbara, CA    

Jill Rubin, LICSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Relationship Coach

Jill Rubin, LCSW
Relationship Coach

Helping you live the life you desire, through relationship coaching and psychotherapy.

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